If you have found yourself feeling distressed or disappointed after your emergency c-section, you are not alone. Women who have emergency caesareans are actually more likely to experience a range of physical and emotional challenges after giving birth.

To those who have given birth this way, it might be obvious that emergency surgery would make the transition to parenthood feel much harder. Yet with around two of every five caesarean births being emergency caesareans, I think the experience has become almost normalised. In my experience, many new parents find it difficult to explain why they have been left feeling so shaken, upset and sad about their birth.

In this article, I highlight six key elements of an emergency caesarean that might help you understand why your birth impacted you emotionally:

It came at the end of a long and challenging labour

For many parents, the decision to proceed to an emergency-section comes at the tail end of a difficult and complicated vaginal birth. You may have spent many hours spent labouring, with various interventions tried along the way.

When a birth unfolds in this way, it can be difficult for women not to perceive their emergency caesarean as some kind of failure – even if they did not enter their birth with a strong desire for a vaginal delivery. It’s common for women to feel let down by their body or guilty on behalf of their baby, despite having done all they could and more.

It is rare to be mentally prepared for the reality of what it involves

If your pregnancy was uncomplicated, you may have planned for a vaginal delivery and spent time planning and preparing for your birth. Even if you were aware that a c-section might be necessary and had prepared to ‘go with the flow’ in your birth, you simply may not have been able to anticipate much of what it involved in reality.

Unfortunately, emergency-c sections are rarely discussed in pregnancy so you may not have had discussions with your doctor or midwife about what an emergency c-section is, why it would be necessary or what it would be like. Even if you were prepared in this way, like many medical experiences, we cannot fully prepare for the reality of the experience.

You felt powerless as your birth moved out of your control

Depending on the urgency of the situation, an emergency c-section sometimes results in being rushed into an operating room and being given a spinal or epidural anaesthesia quite rapidly. In come cases, a general anaesthetic is required. When everything happens so fast, many parents describe feeling powerless. There is often a strong sense that the birth has slipped beyond their control.  Some women also describe the experience of things being done to them, sometimes without their full consent when doctors are needing to work quickly. It can be difficult for your mind to catch up and process what is happening. A sense of losing control is actually one of the key elements in a traumatic birth.

You had a sense that you or your baby were at risk

In contrast to a planned caesarean, an emergency c-section happens in response to a risk. Whilst being prepped and moved to theatre, you likely had a sense that either you or your baby were at some risk of harm. This is an undeniably frightening experience, both for you and your birth partner. You and your baby may have had to go through some difficult medical experiences which understandably cause considerable stress at a tender, vulnerable time.

You did not get to meet your baby in the way you hoped

When you give birth, it is both your baby’s entry into this world and your own entry into the realm of motherhood. It is almost impossible not to have carried hopes and imaginings of what your first meeting would be like. An emergency c-section often disrupts the natural reunion of mother and baby post-birth, and you may have been separated from your baby for a time. It is completely natural to feel a sense of sadness and grief for the experiences you missed out on.

It complicated other aspects of new parenthood

When a baby is born, parents and baby are plunged almost immediately into a new challenge – learning to breastfeed. Research shows that mothers who have emergency caesareans are more likely to have a difficult first breastfeeding attempt, less likely to breastfeed within the first 24 hours and ultimately tend to breastfeed for a shorter duration. Whilst many parents are happy to transition onto mixed feeding or bottle-feeding, some mothers find that breast-feeding challenges compound their feelings of failure and stress after an emergency c-section.

So… what can I do if my emergency c-section has affected me postnatally?

As a result of the factors above, some parents feel very traumatised by their experience. The rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are five times higher after an emergency caesarean(2). To me, this statistic really highlights just how frightening and distressing they can be for many parents.

When an experience is overwhelmingly frightening, the brain can’t fully process it at the time and doesn’t store the memory correctly. Fragments of the memory can then bubble up in the weeks following your birth, as your brain works to process and store the memory of what happened. This is normal and most people are advised to wait six weeks or so to see if this symptom resolves on its own.

However, if memories of your birth have continued to intrude into your daily life, or you find that you are trying to avoid thinking about your birth, you may be experiencing symptoms of PTSD. Treatment is available, and you may find it useful to talk through your birth experience with a trusted professional to help you integrate the experience. Your GP is a good person to talk to first as they will be able to connect you with the right professional.

It is not unusual to feel a sense of guilt or failure after an emergency-section, even if you rationally know that you are not to blame in any way. In fact, research has shown a strong association between emergency caesareans and lowered self-esteem(1). When you are finding your feet as a new parent (or adjusting to adding a new member to the family), strong feelings of failure surrounding your birth can really affect your confidence, both in yourself and in your mothering. It can feel harder to get to know this new little person you are suddenly responsible for.

You may need to take some time to respond to these feelings with kindness and compassion for the part of you that feels this way. You can validate and care about your feelings, even whilst recognising that you may need to gently challenge some unhelpful beliefs you are carrying about your birth. What might you tell a good friend who admitted she felt this way?

With this approach, you may be able to acknowledge and allow your emotional experience whilst still gently reframing the experience so you can view it in a different light.

You might also be struggling with feelings of sadness and loss. These are very natural and it is important to remind yourself that such feelings are normal and will fade with time. You might need to take some time to be sad – to allow yourself to cry, talk about how you are feeling or express it in writing.

If you are looking for emotional support after a difficult birth, The Birth Healing Collective provides information, education and psychological support to help you make sense of your birth experience. You can get free resources, tips and tools straight to your inbox and access live Q&A’s with me (a perinatal clinical psychologist) – and membership is completely free.

1. Benton, M.R., Salter, A., Tape, N., Wilkinson, C., Turnbull, D. (2019). Women’s psychosocial outcomes following an emergency caesarean section: a systematic literature review. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 2019; 19(1):535-1-535-24.

2. Soderquist, J., Wijma, K., & Wijma, B. Traumatic Stress after Childbirth: The Role of Obstetric Variables. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics & Gynecology, (2002) 23(1), 31–39.